How this quote set me firm on licensing & collaborating with companies who also believe this to be true.
I'm often told my illustrations, prints + patterns and the mural I did for Dressew, makes people feel joyful and happy, which I love hearing!
“Your joy is your sadness unmasked”. Recently this quote, by Kahlil Gibran, fell into my lap. I had to really spend some time with it. Especially that word, unmasked.
You see, I'm the daughter of a woman who has worn a mask of heavy makeup on her face for her entire adult life. My mom was born with a port wine birthmark on the lower half of her face, from ear to ear, that runs down her neck and into her chest.
Growing up, I knew my mom woke up at 5am to start the process of putting on her make up. It takes her 3 hours to do it before leaving the house every single day. Why would she go through that? It has everything to do with how people reacted to her as a child. When she told me she knew what the Phantom was going through in Phantom of the Opera, my heart broke. Knowing she was terrified of people seeing her without her makeup and hearing her say she felt like a monster. It was too much.
When I was 8, she started laser treatments to remove her birthmark. She's still doing them every month. I'm 51. She's 71 with no intention of ever stopping. She also does every treatment without anaesthetic so they can go deeper. Those early laser treatments were especially brutal. After one treatment, I had a teacher at my school ask her if she had been kicked in the face by a horse. Nope. But my respect for him was greatly damaged after that. Witnessing how people reacted to my mom always shocked me. It only made me appreciate and love her even more, because I knew, with or without make up she's so incredibly beautiful.
I am also the mother of a transgender daughter who felt like she had to hide behind a mask her entire life. While she desperately tried to suppress it, it nearly cost her life.
When our daughter transitioned, it wasn't the easiest. I wish I could say we handled it perfectly. We didn't. We were led by fear (actually we were downright terrified!) about how the world would treat her. Having witnessed how some people treated my mom, perhaps magnified this fear. As our daughter transitioned, we all learned how painful it was for her to hide who she truly was. Slowly over time, her body, her clothes, her world all started to make more sense and brought her peace. As my dad said to me during her transition, "40 years ago, she would have had to push herself so deep down." After having watched a lifetime of my mom painting a mask on herself every morning, we couldn't imagine our daughter needing to hide behind a mask everyday either, no matter how safe we wanted to keep her. Today she is thriving, successfully supporting herself as an indie video game developer. That on its own isn't an easy task! We are so very proud of her; our hearts could burst!
It's because of these two women, my mom and my daughter, that deep in my bones I believe wholeheartedly in love and kindness for everyone. Including those people who looked at my mom with disgust or fear, and those that believe our daughter DID have a choice in being trans. I wish for their families and loved ones, that they feel the freedom to exist and for their differences to be celebrated. Not hidden away, masked in shame. Life is to short, boring, beige, blah and honestly sometimes it's just… brutal.
Which is why after sitting with this quote for some time, and thinking about my mom and our daughter, I'm inspired and firm in my commitment to collaborating with companies and brands that celebrate our differences and practice, "YOUR JOY IS YOUR SADNESS UNMASKED".
